The Saga Continues....

There is a rip in the Empire

Ever since Jabba died Darth Vader has been in control

The powerful Queen has tried to keep order, but Darth Vader have decided to wipe out his senior officers nevertheless 

The Rebels want to fight, but some are scared

However, Princess Leia could care less.....

The Saga Continues!!!!

Further Reading:

• The Organization Is Doing Major Lay-Offs

The Organization Is Doing Major Lay-Offs!

Rumors are circulating and I tried to get the facts right from the management (See below):

The Jews for Jesus is organization has multiple people “retiring” or “moving on” as of January 1, 2020.  I have heard that those affected were given only about two weeks notice.

I shouldn’t be upset about this, but I am.  Hearing about lay-offs always bothers me, but some of the people who are all of a sudden “retiring” have worked for the organization for over 30 or 40 years!  

I wrote the organization’s director and asked for the facts, but I was just told to not pay attention to rumors.

I do know that employers make changes and just wish that I had been told the reasons these changes are being made.  All the people that have been laid off I hear are over 50 years old.  Maybe the beginning of 2020 is a good time to retire?

(Added Note:  I do not believe there is one way to G-d, but I once worked for that organization and was told in 1989 that it was time for me to “move on.”  That was a good thing, but at the time it was devastating.)

Washers and Dryers Can Be a Blessing From God

This past week I had the most wonderful and amazing study session with my study partner from Torah Mates.  We've been studying together a book called Living Emunah.  Although we don't get together over the phone to study often, when we do get together, we have so much fun talking about what we learn and about what is discussed in that book.  Everything we learn seems to relate to something in our own lives.  It really has been a fun studying with Chana.

The particular lesson we studied this past week was called "Recognize Your Blessings" and what was discussed really hit home for me.  Why did it "hit home" for me?  The reason this lesson "hit home" was that the chapter talked about doing laundry. Yes...laundry!  And....yes...washers and dryers!  

We learned that we should be grateful since there are a lot of people out there that must go to public laundromats and feed coins into washers and dryers and both Chana and I have washer and dryers inside our homes.  Neither one of us have to schlep laundry down flights of stairs in apartment buildings or go outside in the cold to get our laundry done.  

Chana and I spent, it seemed, over an hour and a half talking about the history of doing laundry in our lives!  We both realized that we both truly have been blessed by Hashem.

For me, my "doing laundry memories" begin at the age of 18 when I first left home to skate and train and the Broadmoor World Arena and go to college in Colorado.  I lived with a family at first that had machines in their home, but shortly after that, I moved into my own little efficiency apartment in a complex that had a laundry room across the parking lot.  My apartment was upstairs and had an outside entrance, so I had to load up my laundry and detergent and coins and take the laundry down steps and walk across the parking lot.

I discovered then that doing laundry was not all that fun especially when I had to fight to get a commercial washer or use a dryer (that sometimes burned my clothes), but I also had to walk across that parking lot in the snow or rain.  That was a "total pain" and annoying, but still, I thought to myself, "At least I don't have to drive to a public laundromat."  I was grateful even then, and I didn't know it.  I was just a bit inconvenienced since I always had to make sure I had enough quarters and I couldn't leave the apartment complex on Sunday mornings or afternoons (which was my designated laundry day).

My family bought a condo in this complex in 1975 at an auction

A year later my parents bought "The Condo," a small two bedroom apartment.  It's a complicated story to tell, but condominiums in a certain complex in Colorado Springs went up for sale at an auction and my dad asked me, then only 19 years old, to pick out the units he should bid on.  I purposely picked an upstairs condo unit where the bedrooms were across the hall from the laundry room since I dreaded doing laundry the way I had been doing it so much at the apartment complex, and that was the unit my family ended up winning at the auction!  

Wow...what a change it was for me then.  Although I still "fed quarters" into washer and dryers and sometimes had to wait for a washer or dryer to come available, I could just go across the hall and do my laundry and feel like I was still home.  It was utter luxury!  No more loading things up, going down and upstairs, and going outside on a cold Sunday morning in the snow just to do laundry. Although, I rarely thought about God in those days, I knew I was so very blessed.

Ok...let's move forward to more of my adult life and laundry:  

During my last year at Colorado College, I moved into the dorms and did laundry most of the time on campus in the Ticknor Hall dorm, but I imagine once in awhile my college friends and I went to "The Condo" and got our laundry done there while we went swimming and sitting in the hot tub at the wonderful pool there. 

Then, after graduation, I moved to California.  I lived in Los Angeles for the summer and took my laundry to my grandmother's house on the weekends....that was no biggie and doing laundry was easy.  Later, I moved in with Grandma and of course could use her machines and I recall she even might have done my laundry for me when I was at work.  Laundry was easy then.

When Dan and I first were married in 1979, laundry, again, became a chore.

Dan and I, always had to go to laundromats during the first nine years of our marriage when we lived in Long Beach.  When we first were married, we'd put our laundry in the basket of my big adult tricycle and ride to a laundromat and do our laundry together.  Sometimes, I think, Dan may have taken a load to his parents' house, but we did that rarely.  When I coached skating on the weekends, Dan would load up our car with our dirty laundry, and spend the morning and afternoon at a laundromat while I taught skating. He'd hang my delicates across a makeshift clothesline he put in car so they could air dry since in those days, commercial dryers tended to burn up clothes.

In 1988, we moved to San Francisco and lived in a building with only four apartments that included one shared washer and dryer in a basement type garage.  Laundry became much easier then, but still was a small chore, but now we could do laundry without schlepping our clothes to a public laundromat.

In 1990, Dan was away on a business trip and the one washer in the building stopped working and all of a sudden I made a spur of the moment decision:  I thought to myself, "I have had it with laundromats and shared or coin operated washers and dryers!  I'm going to do something drastic."  

On a weekend, I decided, almost on a whim, to drive to Sears and buy a portable stackable Kenmore washer and dryer set for our apartment.  There was no hookup for a washer, but there was a space in the apartment's kitchen to stack the two appliances.  We just had to roll the washer to the sink and we could do laundry whenever we wanted to.  Although, the washer and dryer was smaller in size than most washer and dryers,  their purchase was a wise decision and thus ended the days of Dan and I having to use public laundry rooms or feed money into commercial washers and dryers.

This is not actually our portable stackable washer set, this is someone else's photo, but this is what it looks like.

When we moved to Colorado in 1991, we first lived in "The Condo."  We had a choice then:  we could roll our little portable washer to the sink in our kitchen and do our laundry AND also we could do big loads across the hall!  When we had our first baby, having both options was so great.  Babies really generate a lot of laundry.

Chana was telling me that one of her daughters lived in an apartment building in New York  where the laundry room was in the basement.  She could not leave the baby in order to do laundry, so her daughter and some of her other children would just bring their laundry to her house.  Chana says her washer and dryer are always in use because now she has several grandchildren.  She too, had a portable washer when she was a new mother and says she too could not have lived without it.

Chana and I realized as we study that both of us were blessed by Hashem, when we had new babies with the ability to do laundry whenever we wanted and needed to.

In 1995, after we bought our house, of course, Dan and I bought a full size washer and dryer and left the little portable appliances at "The Condo."  What a wonderful thing it was to no longer have to roll a washer to the kitchen sink and be able to wash larger loads.  

This is not actually the washer and dryer that is in my house, but ours is similar

As time has passed, I take being able to do laundry in my house for granted, but I know that not all houses even have designated laundry rooms or hookups.   

My dad's fancy washer and dryer

My dad's house in the Colorado mountains, where we spend much of our time, has an even larger and fancier washer and dryer and doing laundry at his house is really fun!  When we are in Long Beach, we also can do laundry right in our family's vacation home there too.  It's easier than ever in Long Beach since the condo there is small and the laundry is stacked and hooked up right in the kitchen inside a laundry closet and is so easy to access and use.  I do small loads often.  

I also have the option of going to "The Condo" in Colorado Springs to get a lot of laundry done since that wonderful laundry room is still right across the hall.  Now, we don't even have to feed quarters in those machines since they can be operated through an app.  Wowie!

"The Condo" - Laundry Room 2019

When I travel, I always think about how nice I have it at home with laundry so easy to do and am grateful when we stay in acomodations where washer and dryers are inside an Airbnb or even available to use coin operated at a hotel.  

24-Hour Laundromat in Floretin Area, Tel Aviv, Israel

When I visited my daughter Annabelle in Tel Aviv during the spring of 2019, Annabelle and I and our friend Larisa had to walk several blocks away to a 24 hour laundromat.  That was an adventure in Israel, but yes, doing that made me appreciate how easy I have it in my comfortable house with a laundry room equipped with a washer and dryer in the USA.  Did you know that in Israel, since most people live in apartments, it is common to just own a washer and to air dry clothes?  Wow...we live "in luxury" in the USA!

And....today we even have laundry pods, so now we don't have to carry around powdered or liquid laundry soap that spills all over the place.  All we have to do is drop one a concentrated pod of detergent into our laundry loads.  Such a wonderful invention laundry pods are!

Yes...little things like how we do laundry make one think about blessings from God!  Little things like being able to drive my car right into a garage that is connected to my house is a blessing from God.  Little things like owning a car that I can drive is a blessing.  Family is a blessing.  Having a dog to love is a blessing.  Living in a house rather than an apartment is a blessing.  Having food on the table is a blessing.  Life is full of blessings from God that we need to recognize.

Thinking about this makes me realize how very fortunate I am and makes me realized how much God has given me!

My thoughts on the phrase "I Love You"

I have been thinking about the phrase "I love you."

If a person treats family or friends badly, the statement "I love you" is a lie, so why say the phrase at all?

I Am So, So Sad

During the past couple of months, I've been so, so sad.

Yes, someone I loved died recently and yes, someone I love lost a loved one.  My children have grown up, and I'm feeling a bit of the empty nest although they are still very much a part of my life.  My father is now 90 years old, and needs me more than ever.

I have reasons to be sad.  I have reasons to be overwhelmed.  I have reasons to cry.

But...

All these reasons above are not what have caused this continuing and overwhelming sadness.

My sadness comes because someone I care about so very much is angry at me some of the time and no matter what I do, our relationship is strained.  The pain is so great that the sadness never leaves my being.

I've tried to make things right, but things are not really better.

I do fun things that put a "band-aid" on the sadness, but that doesn't really matter since the sadness just won't go away which makes me sadder.

If anyone reads this, pray for me...

Was the Story In Not Without My Daughter Totally True?

I think most people remember the 1991 movie "Not Without My Daughter" starring Sally Field.  It showed the story of how Betty Mahmoody and  her little daughter Mahtob who were held against their will in Iran for 18 months after what was supposed to be a two week vacation to visit her native born Iranian husband Moody's family.  Dr. Mahmoody had lived in America for 20 years, and it seemed that a visit was okay, but instead, Moody (the nickname Betty called him) changed once back in his home country, and Betty experienced a nightmare and had to escape Iran.   She would not leave without her daughter Mahtob.

After recently watching that movie again, I decided I had to read the books associated with the story.  I did not only read the books, but I watched numerous videos.

Not only did Betty Mahmoody write a book, but the daughter, little Mahtob, who is now grown up (I believe she is now 40 years old) has published her story too.

And...Betty's ex-husband, Sayyed Bozorg Mahmoody, wrote a book too that tells his side of the story.  The book dragged a bit and was poorly written.  It is clear that he wished to prove somehow that he was innocent and he wanted to "get back" at his ex-wife for sharing the story.

Dr. Mahmoody, who was always called Moody by Betty, passed away in 2009, but before he died, a documentary was made that also told his story.  He denied Betty's claim that she and Mahtob were forced to stay in Iran and that they were tricked into going there.  (Apparently, after the book and movie came out, Iranians were angry at him for causing their country and culture to look so primitive and barbaric and his life was miserable.)  He claimed that almost all that Betty said was true was really false.

 I read "My Name Is Mahtob" first before I read "Not Without My Daughter."  I also watched the documentary that showed Dr. Mahmoody's point of view and watched YouTube interviews with both Mahtob and Betty.

After reading and watching everything, I have come to the conclusion that most likely Betty's story is true, but could have been dramatized just a bit.  The Iranian culture is so different than our American culture, that Moody may have not known how much of a "monster" he was to his wife and daughter.

Mahtob has shadowy memories in her head of what happened, so it is hard to know for sure that what she described could be just a child's memories or what her mother told her.  Most of her book is about her life since she returned to the US which can be disappointing to a reader who wants answers, but how could a child who was only four to six years old, put together an entire book that shared what happened in detail?

In his book and also the documentary, Dr. Mahmoody told Betty's story from his point of view and his point of view only.  Betty vividly describes her husband beating her, but then he instead says she hit him!

Moody explained why things are done in Iran and says that Betty just didn't understand how things were done.  He makes her look stubborn, ignorant, and angry.  He also stated that Betty was really from a poor American and uneducated family and almost hinted she was "white trailer trash" and that he rescued her from poverty.  He said he gave her a comfortable life, and that while they were living in the USA, that she took off more than once with all their savings and left him, but then returned.

Sayyed Bozorg Mahmoody was a short, balding, and somewhat overweight man; he was not the tall and handsome and strong man that was the actor in the "Not Without My Daughter" movie, so it is a bit hard to picture this weak looking man with glasses as the evil and strong monster that Betty described.  Dr. Mahmoody used his true appearance to show that perhaps Betty's story, book, and movie was exaggerated and untrue. Mahtob, however, remembers and says her father did become a monster and remembers her father hitting her and Betty.

Mahtob remembers going to school in Iran and shares bleak memories of those school days.  She tells about how the children could only color with dark crayons and were taught to chant "Death to America!"  I'm so glad she was able to get out of Iran and grew up in the good old USA!  Her father said Mahtob loved school and was in the top of her class in Iran, but Mahtob describes school in Iran as being torture for her.

Dr. Mahmoody wanted more than anything to reconcile with Mahtob, but that never happened.  As she grew up, Mahtob was terribly afraid of him and would have nothing to do with him. She even went to school under a false name and Betty and Mahtob tried to hide the best they could.  When the internet made it possible for her father to find her, Mahtob refused any contact.  Betty and Mahtob lived their lives, even after they were safely back in the USA with the fear that Mahtob could possibly be taken away by Moody.

No matter what, this is a terribly sad and uncomfortable story and I would think after knowing about it that most American women would be smart enough to know that getting involved with a man from a culture where women's rights are so different is not a good idea.

Review of Shtisel and Srugim - Two Israeli Television Soap Operas

I was hooked on the Israeli television Shtisel for the early part of 2019.  I was so hooked on the series that I couldn't wait to get into my Netflix account on my Kindle Fire and find out what was going to happen next.  I was totally addicted and became a Shtisel binge watcher!

When I realized that the show ended abruptly at the end of Season 2, I almost didn't know what to do with myself!  I learned so much about the Hasidic Ultra-Orthodox Jewish world from watching that show.  I could not wait to ask my study partners from Partners in Torah and Torah Mates about what I saw. 

Fortunately, I then discovered Srugim on Amazon Prime, which is kind of Israel's equivalent to one of my favorite old television shows from the late 1980s called Thirtysomething.  Srugim is about modern religious Orthodox (not Hasidic) singles and young married couples who are in their late 20s and early 30s.  They are close friends living in Jerusalem who get together almost every Friday night for Shabbat dinner.  The show shows their lives during the week and also on Shabbat.

Both shows must be watched with English subtitles, but I think I may have picked up a bit of Hebrew and even some Yiddish just from watching.  I have to really concentrate when I watch these shows and try not to miss anything that the subtitles say.

Srugim, like Shtisel, has taught me a lot about Judaism.  It's been wonderful to "experience Shabbat" when I watch the show.  Jerusalem looks almost "heavenly" on Shabbat mornings.  There are a lot of "Shabbat Shalom" greetings and there is also a peace in the city.  People are not rushing to do things.

I also relate to one character in particular in Srugim named Hodaya.  That character plays a rabbi's daughter who decides after the first season to "no longer be religious."  She dramatically changes and becomes very secular in Season Two.  Her friends and family believe that her decision to no longer be religious is temporary, but she has no intention of ever returning.  I too, have no intention of going back to the world of xtianity, even though, like many young Jews, I once explored that route and was once part of that community.

Shtisel 

Shtisel takes the viewer into the Ultra-Orthodox Jewish world and into the Ultra-Orthodox world in Jerusalem. It is interesting to to see Jerusalem and see the Hasidim live separately, but also be among the secular and non-hasidic Jews in Israel.

When I went to Israel in April of 2019, I was fascinated to see that what I saw in Shtisel was accurate.  I had to be careful to not stare at all the Haredi families I saw since I felt that Shtisel had given me a glimpse into their world.

Srugim's Main Characters - Reut, Nati, Hifat, Amir, and Hodaya

In Srugim, some of the scenes take place in coffee houses and in Tel Aviv, so now that I have been there, I like it so much when I see the places I visited.  I recognized Tel Aviv's beaches in the show since I went there so many times with my daughter. Seeing the show helps me to feel that I'm still in Israel and I wish I could spend more time there, especially in Jerusalem.

Shtisel's main character, Shulem Shtisel, is a recent widower who is the head of a very large extended family and his life, along with the lives of his children and grandchildren are shown.  Shulem makes certain mistakes that drastically affect the lives of his family.  Some reviewers say that he is not a good person, but I disagree.  He's an Ultra-Orthodox man who knows only one way of life. His way of life and his only way of thinking and living affects everyone he comes in contact with.

Shulem's. youngest son, Akiva (called Kive by his close family members) is a talented artist.  Being an artist does not really mix with being Hasidic, and that causes some conflict and also caused Kive to not be able to successfully get engaged or stay engaged.

I thought the episode where Shulem reconciles with a daughter who lives in Nahariya interesting because it showed how angry Shulem was with her decision to become Chabad.  I didn't know how angry the Haredi sects are with the Lubavitch due to their belief that their dead Rebbe is the Messiah.  It was fun for me to visit Nahariya during my trip to Israel and ride on the same train that perhaps Shulem and Kive took there.

Both Shtisel and Srugim show how important family and marriage and children are in the Orthodox Jewish culture.  Also, in Shtisel, the men smoke constantly and there sure is a lot of eating and drinking!

I have enjoyed seeing a Bris, seeing wedding celebrations, engagement gatherings, sitting Shiva, morning prayers, and holiday celebrations.

I wonder what I will watch when I complete the third season of Srugim?  I have heard that Shtisel will continue for a third season though...yippee!

Also, Facebook has groups that discuss both Shtisel and Srugim, so I now can discuss what may be my two favorite Israeli television shows with others who like the shows as much as I do!

Review of Shulem Deen's All Who Go Do Not Return

I recently read All Who Go Do Not Return by Shulem Deen.  The book was hard to put down and "shook my soul."  It got me thinking a lot about religion and cults and shunning and all sorts of related things.

Below is my summary and thoughts of his memoir.

Shulem Deen's parents were former hippies. During that time, in the 1960s, young people got into drugs, but also some young people got into religion.  Unlike many of the young people that got involved in the Jesus Movement in the 1960s, Deen's parents went the "opposite way" and became Chassidic Jews.   I wish so much that they'd not gone "full force" into being Chassidic since Deen and his siblings had no choice on how to live their lives.

Deen grew up in a sheltered society in what was called a Chassidic village right in the middle of New York City.  Life there was lived as if the people were living in the 1800s in Russia, but there were modern conveniences.  Marriages were arranged and the Rebbe gave his approvals and blessings for each match.   At seventeen, all of Shulem's friends were getting engaged and then married by the time they were 18.  He met his wife to be for only seven minutes at an arranged meeting before their actual wedding.  On their wedding night, Deen had to call a mentor to make sure they were "doing it right."

I learned how little secular education those in the Chassidic community get.  I learned how married couples are required to have sexual intercourse twice a week (I think it is Friday after Shabbat dinner and on Tuesday night).  I learned how men are not supposed to look at women after Bar Mitvah age.  I learned how most of the Chassidic families live off of food stamps and are on welfare since the men's primary "job" is to study Torah.

I also learned how beautiful a weekly Shabbat dinner and celebration for a family can be.

I learned how as time progressed, that Shulem and his wife Gitty began to love one another.  Although having five children was a financial burden, Shulem Deen adored each of his children so very much.

As time progressed, Deen realized he did not believe in God at all, but could not possibly choose to leave the tight knit community and life he was born into, but he was thrown out of his community by the leaders of  his community because word got out that he was encouraging others to rethink the tight rules and regulations of the Chassidic life.  He read secular books, watched television, surfed the internet, and even visited secular places.  He learned there was a whole world out there.  That world he shared with others that were also rethinking the life they were born into.  He became "anonymously famous" for his Hasidic Rebel blog.

Deen's wife was really unhappy when the family was forced to leave all they knew and live outside the community.  As time passed the couple decided it would be best to divorce.   She went back of course.

At first, after the divorce, Deen saw his children all the time, but little by little, each of his five children decided to have nothing to do with him.  That is the part of his story that broke my heart.

Today Shulem Deen lives the life of a secular Jewish man, but he may be involved with the Reform Jewish community.  He helps those that leave Hasidism.  Despite being deprived of a high school education, Deen eventually became an educated man and is now a very talented writer.  His mother and siblings still accept him and have him into their homes. but his children and ex-wife (who remarried) have shut him out of their lives.  That breaks my heart.

I think Deen being shut out of his children's lives is the saddest part of his whole story.  I have thought about that a lot since the hardest part of me believing that there are multiple ways to God is that those that believe there is only one way don't always accept me back into their lives.  Recently, during my recent trip to Israel, someone I believed was a dear friend did not wish to see me.  That made me so sad.

I have had a really hard time understanding the rules and regulations associated with Orthodox Judaism and am so glad I consider myself a Reform Jew since nothing is required.  I love seeking God that way.

Some of the people in Deen's religious community thought he might eventually return, but he never will.  I know there is no chance I will go back "there" either even though I see no reason not to allow those who are still "there" into my life.  I have committed myself to sharing the joy I have in life with everyone I meet and touch.

Yes, I've been shunned by some "friends" who I thought would be lifelong friends who I knew from my religious past.  That is perhaps the reason I cried so hard when I got to the end of Shulem Deen's book.