May Their Memory Be a Blessing

I love the Jewish tradiition of remembering our loved ones who have passed.  Remembering them keeps them alive in our hearts and in our minds.  It is like they are still with us.

Here's the memory of my family at Temple Israel in Long Beach, California:

Remembering Esther Feingold Schneider and Tom Schneider

Today, 10-30-17, my father and I went to find the grave of my great-granadmother, Esther Feingold Schneider.  We knew it was in the same cemetary of my father's Uncle Tom Schneider, the Beth Olam Cemetary at Hollywood Forever in West Hollywood, California.

It took awhile, but we found Esther and then we found Tom and his wife Henrietta and Tom's son Milt "Mitzy" Schneider who died when he was young after being thrown from a horse.

Below are some photos to help remember them.  It was very emotional to think that I'm descended from someone who was born in 1872 and to get "to meet her" today.  My Great-Uncle Tom Schneider was the oldest of her eight children.

My father tells me that his grandma was the sweetest grandma ever who had presents wrapped in advance for he grandchildren!

Esther Feingold Schneider

My Great-Grandmother Esther and My Grandpa Max Schneider in front of his jewelry store in downdown Long Beach on Pine Avenue sometime sin the 1950s

My Grandpa Max and His Brother Tom Schneider inside Grandpa's jewelry store - I'm guessing the mid-1960s

Uncle Tom and My Brother Billy

Dr. Ron Wolfson Got Me to Remember My Wonderful Jewish Grandparents

Fannie and Max Schneider - 1928

Dr. Ron Wolfson came to Temple Israel and spoke on Friday evening 10/27, Saturday morning 10/28, and Sunday morning 10/29, 2017.  Each talk he gave was about the books he has written. 

The Sunday morning talk was called "The Best Boy in the United States of America."  It was really fun hearing Dr. Wolfson share the stories he had to tell about his life.

Remembering loved ones keeps them alive and that is a very special part of Jewish tradition.

As he described his grandfather, I remembered my wonderful Grandpa Max.  Dr. Wolfson's grandfather gave his grandchildren huge hugs and kisses and sat in a big chair.

When I was a child, my dad took us to Grandma Fannie and Grandpa Max's house every Sunday.  We'd park whatever car we drove then right in front of the house at 232 Granada in Belmont Shore, Long Beach, California and when the three of us got out of the car, Grandma and Grandpa would greet us on the door step and Grandpa Max would always put his arms around me and squeeze me hard and give me a huge kiss and hug.  Grandma Fannie would kiss me and I'd immediately wipe of the lipstick.

Max and Fannie in the 1960s

Grandpa Max was truly excited to see us and knew somehow that those hugs he gave us every Sunday would stay inside my soul.  Grandpa Max was the kind of grandfather and father that made us all feel safe and while he was alive, my dad seemed to know that everything would always be alright.

Lynnellenn, Billy, and Jo Ann Schneider - 1962 - In Front of Grandpa and Grandma Schneider's House in Belmont Shore - The Street Still Looks the Same!

Like Dr. Wolfson's grandfather, my Grandpa Max sat in a huge chair all day long on the Sundays we visited and we would surround him and just talk.  Grandma Fannie sat at the corner of the couch and knitted.

Grandma Fannie liked to write.  At the end of his talk today, Dr. Wolfson shared a letter written to her sons by his mother that was left for her sons to read after her death.  I cried when I heard him read the letter because I knew my Grandma Fannie would have done the same thing.

I miss them both and wish so much that I could go back to being a little girl in the 1960s and wish my Grandpa Max could hug me and my Grandma Fannie would kiss me.

Disturbing Article About Ultra Orthodox Fundamental Cult

The link below links to a really upsetting story....and it is not just about ultra-Orthodox Jews. Religious fundamentalism has torn many families apart.

I don't talk about it much, but when I was young, shortly after I quit competitive skating, I was sucked into a cult like group. I think my parents must have been sad like this parent who wrote this article, but It passed.  I live my life now grateful for every day with my children and friends.

I also have recently watched "One of Us" on Netflix and the stories there are really disturbing. "One of Us" is not an example of all ultra orthodox or Hasidic groups, but so very disturbing.

• How I Lost My Daughter to Religious Fundamentalism - BY KARIN BROOKE

Hiking With My Friend Rhonda 10-28-17

It was fun to take a spur of the moment hike today with my friend Rhonda! She is a "free spirit" like me and it was fun to talk and be together and talk about our kids. Her kids are younger than mine, but we have so much in common since we both homeschooled our kids and love our famiiles so much. A fun afternoon it was!

My Time Is My Most Precious Possession and I Want to Share It With You!

This song, Precious Possession (I'll Give You My Time) is one of my favorite songs by the Jewish music group Sababa.

I live my life every day wondering who I can reach out to and share "my time" with.  This song says just that.

I want each person who has touched my life to know that I want to share what really is "my most precious possession," my time, with them if they want it,  just as the lyrics of this wonderful song says...

Also, I love Sababa's songs!

 

Blessing of the Jewish Pets 10-22-17

My absolutely favorite thing that happens in Colorado Springs is the Blessing of the Jewish Pets which happens every year during the time we read Parsha Noach!

Remembering My Friend Marilyn Blevins Sproat

JO ANN and Marilyn Blevins Sproat - June, 2012 Belmont Shore Beach

This is one of the only photos I can find of Marilyn Blevins Sproat.  Here she is in 1988 with my husband Dan and one of our former Atherton House housemates, Russ Park.

This is a photo of me in 1995 or 1996 with my son Joel (in the stroller) and Marilyn's son Isaac and Marilyn.

About a week ago, I went to Marilyn Sproat's Facebook page wondering if she might be attending the upcoming reunion of some of the friends my husband and I had when we were young in Long Beach.

Marilyn was not a big Facebook user, but I noticed some birthday wishes and then I noticed a comment-post that said Marilyn had passed away in May of 2017!  I was shocked of course, so I contacted the person who posted about Marilyn's death and found out that she had died after complications with diabetes. I learned that Marilyn had been a part of a foursome in middle school. Two of the four middle school friends: Marilyn and another friend, had recently passed away.  Marilyn's friend was so very sad.

 Anyway, Marilyn's middle school friend, Colleen and I, began to share "Marilyn memories" together.  I had missed the funeral or memorial, but at least I could mourn a bit with Colleen.

I really like the Jewish tradition of remembering people in our hearts and remembering keeps them alive, so I want to share here what I remember about Marilyn to keep her memory alive.

Marilyn and I met at the end of 1978 or the beginning of 1979.  She lived in the plush Naples Island area of Long Beach in a white house that needed to be painted badly.  The paint was chipping on the outside and also the inside and I remember the bathroom in her parents house had a tub that needed to be cleaned.  Actually, it looked like it had never been cleaned.  It seemed that Marilyn's mother and father did not believe that a house needed to be perfect in order to be happy.  They just lived and enjoyed life.  I had never been in a house like that before!

Another memory I have of Marilyn's parents, Charlotte and Charles, was going out to eat with them and Marilyn in Belmont Shore at Hamburger Henry's.  I think Marilyn wanted us to get to know her parents since she considered Dan and I very special friends.  After the meal, we gave Marilyn's father our portion of the bill which included the tip.  Well..they did not leave a tip and we were shocked since they kept our tip money.  Dan and I did not venture into Hamburger Henry for a long time after that.  Even though that incident happened, we loved Marilyn and her parents.

Naples is a part of Long Beach which is right next to Belmont Shore, a beach area where I lived with my Grandma Fannie.  Marilyn's mom, Charlotte, was a very experienced substitute teacher in Long Beach and knew my grandmother (I think maybe from the Jewish Community Center).  I was teaching crafts at a private school in Downey and Marilyn's mom gave me advice on how to handle students and teaching.  I can't quite remember how, but Marilyn's mom and my grandmother "hit it off" and so did Marilyn and I. 

Marilyn told me later that her mother was Jewish, but since Marilyn's father was a gentile that she and her sister were raised with no religion at all. She said that her mother made a decision not to share her religion with her daughters out of respect for her husband.  I didn't know about that decision when I met Marilyn, but what I think really made Marilyn and I click was the fact that we were both Jewish and that also made my Grandma Fannie and Marilyn's mother "click."

I wish I had some photos of Marilyn back in the late 1970s.  She had really gorgeious dark brown hair that went down to her waist and so did I.   She always seemed to be cheerful and smiled all the time.  I don't ever remember her letting anything sad get her down.  She was so very upbeat and she loved God.  She told me later that her sister and her husband told her about Jesus and it made sense to her. The Jesus movement and Marilyn "clicked" shortly after that.  Her friend Colleen, the one from middle school, tells me that Marilyn's faith caused that incredibly positive outlook and also made their middle school foursome grow closer as young adults since three in the group were practicing Catholics.

All the "kids" in those days seemed to want to get married, and at the age of 22 or 23, after I got engaged to Dan at the end of 1978,  Marilyn was also determined to get married.

The day Dan and I and returned from our honeymoon in April of 1979, the phone in our new apartment in Downey (we only lived there three weeks) rang and rang.  Dan and I didn't want to answer the phone since we were so very much in love and didn't want to interact with anyone quite yet since we were still in a honeymoon mode, but finally we gave in and answered the phone.  The person on the line was Marilyn.

Marilyn told me during that call that God had told her she was supposed to marry Dan's close friend Randall Bradford!  Marriage was like "playing house" for me then, so, of course, I was excited as Marilyn told me she had everything planned.  She and Randall awould go down to Mother's Beach and sit on the beach and tell eachother their testimonies.  I don't remember much else, but I hoped it would work out.

As soon as Marilyn hung up the phone, the phone rang again.  It was Randall.  Randall was frantic.  "God may have told Marilyn that I'm supposed to be her husband, but He didn't tell me this!  What am I going to do?" said a very worried Randall.

Dan and I tried to calm Randall down and I don't quite remember what happened, but the Marilyn and Randall marriage never happened.

Shortly after that, Marilyn met Graham Sproat.  It didn't take long for the two to become engaged.  I remember after they were engaged, around the winter holidays, going to Naples Island with Marilyn and Graham on a cold California weeknight and looking at the beautiful holiday decorations that were on the houses that lined the Naple Canals.  Marilyn had a way of finding fun and inexpensive things to do.

Marilyn wanted my Grandma Fannie to meet Graham, so we all went out to eat at the Northwoods Inn in Belmont Shore.  What I remember most from that meal was that Graham's long hair and beard was kind of unkempt and Grandma Fannie took a look at Graham and said the following:  "Do you ever comb your hair?"  We all laughed and moved on, but I think Graham was shocked that my little Jewish grandma was so direct!

Dan and I shared a house then with a bunch of guys which was called The Atherton House since it was on Atherton Street.  Marilyn and Graham came over for dinner one night.  The phone rang and rang during dinner, but Dan and I ignored the phone.  We never answered the phone during dinner.  Graham couldn't stand it and finally got up from the dinner table and answered the phone, but said, "Joe's Pizza."  Of course the person thought he had the wrong number, but called back again. This time, Marilyn answered and said, "Joe's pizza."  The poor person who called must have been confused, but then the four of use went back to visiting and eating dinner in the kitchen nook at the back of the house.

Marilyn needed a place to have her wedding and I must have offered The Atherton House or Marilyn asked if the wedding could be at the house.  On her wedding night, I remember coming home and my little bedroom at the front of the house was occupied by Marilyn and her mom and bridesmaids and Marilyn's mom asked for privacy as she helped get the bride ready.  Dan and I couldn't even go into our own bedroom.

Girard Driscoll married Marilyn and Graham right in front of our kitchen and there must have been chairs set up in the living and family room areas or everyone stood.  I don't remember the food, but we found pieces of wedding cake in the bookshelves long after that wedding was over!

Shortly after their wedding, Marilyn and Graham moved away.  They lived in North Holywood in the San Fernando Valley and then they moved to Santa Barbara. Dan and I decided to visit them and go to the Santa Barbara County Fair (which we didn't know was in Santa Maria).  Marilyn and Graham did not have a guest room, but in those days couches were okay for young people.  All I remember was that I slept on the most uncomfortable chair that had wires sticking out of it and Dan must have slept on the floor, but Marilyn (who was pregnant) was so happy to see us that the lack of sleep didn't matter to any of us.

Going to the fair with Marilyn and Graham is a memory I will never forget since we lost them somewhere and spent most of the time trying to find them (in the days before cell phones).  We did find them sitting by our car in the dark at the end of that day at the fair.  We also remember losing $5.00 on a gambling type game where we tried to win a gigantic stuffed animal.  I don't think Dan and I have ever tried gambling since then.  We learned later that Graham had a habit of losing people at fairs and in crowds.

Marilyn and Graham had their son Isaac after that and I remember they moved to Flagstaff, Arizona.  We kept in touch via letters, but as time passed we didn't write as much, but still thought about one another.

In 1988 when Dan and I left Long Beach to move to San Francisco, Marilyn came to our good-bye party.  I vaguely remember she worked for Sally Klein O'Connor's Improbable People ministry scheduliing concerts for Sally. 

Marilyn and Graham divorced and then Graham passed away.  Marilyn's parents also died and the house in Naples was sold.   Then in 1995 or 1996, when Dan and I were on a visit to Long Beach, Marilyn called Dan's parents' house and Dan and I connected with Marilyn and Isaac.

After Facebook became a way to connect, Marilyn reached out to me again.  I told her how much I liked Temple Israel in Long Beach and she even joined me at one of Temple Israel's "Got Shabbat" services in 2011.  I remember just before she left she told me that the service was nice and "very interesting." 

A year or two later Marilyn came to Long Beach from Buena Park to the Belmont Shore beach to see me when I was visiting the area again with my son Joel.  Joel and I were there flying kites on the beach and Marilyn joined us.  That was just a few years ago and I hope I can find photos from that day since that was the last time I saw the very sweet and bubbly and happy Marilyn Blevins Sproat.



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***Update*** Found More Photos of Marilyn When She Came to Belmnt Shore's beach in June of 2012 to see me! 

See below: