Pretending to be a Christian

Yesterday, my son, Joel, and I read an article that addressed the myth of Christian persecution in the United States.

As we were reading, in the middle of the article, Joel exclaimed, "Why don't I just pretend to be a Christian? If I did so, I'd be more accepted in this world."

I thought about Joel's words last night.

I remember when I was young, I wondered what it would have been like to be born a Christian rather than be born Jewish. I knew then, if I was a Christian I'd be like everyone else (well, like most people) in the U.S.A. I could wear Easter dresses, eat Easter brunch, and truly enjoy Christmas full scale.

Shortly after that, I went through motions and pretended to be one. Years passed. Eventually, years later, I came a time where I realized I couldn't stand doing any of "it" or pretending any longer and went back to being "just plain Jewish."

I never again want to pretend to be a Christian.

Lynn told me last week that I don't have to do anything if I believe Jesus is the messiah, but she also explained that a baby left alone doesn't grow. Going to church and getting fellowship she explained are necessary for a Christian's well being. I don't get why listening to sermon after sermon or bible study after bible study keeps a Christian strong, but she says those things help too.

Am I "a baby Christian" or am I just someone who pretended again to believe? Lynn says someone can't go in and out...that is someone can't believe and be changed inside and then all of a sudden stop. But...that's what seems to have happened to me. Did I fake the whole thing?

I just have so much trouble with this "one way" idea. Yes, it says in the New Testament that Jesus is the only way, but that just doesn't make sense to me.

I keep saying this over and over again, but I like being Jewish and seeking God as a Jew. Why do Jews have to believe in Jesus? The Jews that I know that love G-d, believe that following the Torah somewhat or to the letter is the way to God. They do live by rules, and yes, they have rejected Jesus and are clear on what they believe.

As I read the New Testament and read about the Jews that rejected Jesus and his mesage, I relate a bit. The thing is, if I've truly rejected Jesus, has God abandoned me?

(One last thought: I'm very grateful that Lynn and my friend Marion have not given up on me...they at least get me to think about these issues...)