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Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Loss Of Friendships From My Cult-Like Group Years



I decided this past week that I needed to write out my life memories about loss of friendships since it was really bothering me.  Writing helps me.  My memories of loss go back to elementary school!

Below is the part I wrote regarding loss of friends associated with a cult-like religious group my husband Dan and I were involved with.


The Cult-Like Group Years


In 1977-78, I got involved with a cult-like religious group.  After I married my husband Dan in 1979, we volunteered with the group and then in 1982, became official volunteers.  The group stated they were not a cult, but functioned like one.

It wasn't until we went on staff in 1988 and became full-time employees of the religious group, did we realize something was "off."  The group encouraged us to only make friends within the group and to think of those in the group as our family.   That mentality made one dependent on the group.  When someone left, they usually were considered outcasts.

In late 1991, Dan and I moved from San Francisco where the group was based to Colorado Springs; we continued to volunteer with the group, so we weren't totally cut off from the "friends' we made "there."  As time passed, we made a new life for ourselves in Colorado and really forgot about the group and the people in it, but around 2000, someone who wanted to leave contacted me via email and shortly after that some of the people we knew from the group reconnected with me.

I was delighted to be connected again with so many people from my past, but some of the connections were not delightful.  Eventually, I led a cause to expose the wrongs of the religious group and its practices.

The current executive director's wife and I had been friends because of skating, but when she found out I was leading that cause, told me flat out I was no longer welcome in her life.  I took that news very hard since I delighted in her friendship. I just didn't understand why our skating friendship was affected by me connecting with those who had left the group and I missed her.

About two years later, the executive director reached out to me and told me that his wife wished to connect with me again.  That news made me so, so happy!  But...later I found out her friendship with me was just a love bombing technique to gain information about the "ex-group cause."  I felt so stupid.

In 2010, I found out through the "gossip grapevine" that she was getting a divorce.  When I reached out to her as a friend, she was so, so angry that I knew about the divorce.  Things were never the same, but she did contact me about five years later and we've had some correspondence since then.  The thing is, I thought she was my friend, so the pain related to losing her has always caused an ache in me.  We really had a nice friendship...or so I thought.

Another person in the group's wife wrote me detailed letters about her life from about 1978 through 1986-87 or so.  I was under the impression that they were real letters about her life and family.  Her letters gradually stopped coming as time went on and eventually stopped altogether.  When I would see her at the organization's events, she acted as if we'd never had a special friendship.  I realize now I was only a person on her or her husband's caseload.  I felt hurt and tricked.  If I saw that person again today I doubt she would have much to say to me and she probably has no memory of how I poured my life out to her in letters.

I learned during that time of connection and fighting the group that the group encouraged those involved to cut off relationships with people that were or are considered trouble.  I may be one of the individuals that people were instructed to avoid.

When Facebook became a "thing" and I reconnected with so many who still were involved in the group or once worked for them, I was "unfriended" several times by individuals who had once been involved or who I thought were friends.  That attitude of suspicion and lack of trust has affected me greatly in my life.

When I went to Israel in April of 2019, I reconnected with every person I knew that had been associated with the group who now lives in Israel.  Every encounter gave me delight and happiness except for one where an individual told me she was too busy to connect and then would not respond when I asked if at least we could talk on the phone.  I still am sad about that loss since we had once been close.

More recently, someone from the group told me she needs to disengage from me for a time.  I just wish that I could be there for her and tell her what's going on in my life, but she tells me it is not permanent, so I look forward to being in touch with her when she is ready.  A friend tells me that her wanting to be friends with me on her terms and in her time is unhealthy, so maybe I should just forget about that "friendship."

I am very sure that I have been deeply hurt from the years I was involved in the group, but also from the aftermath and I've never really gotten over it.

I think about the Carole King song "Now and Forever."  The lyrics, "Now and Forever, you are a part of me and the memory cuts like a knife..."   "Now and Forever I will always think of you."  "Didn't we come together?  Didn't we love together?  Didn't we play together?"  "I miss the day we met and all that followed after."  "Now and Forever I will always think of you."

We experienced something together that only can be understood by US.  The words from that Carole King song really describe what impact that group had on my life.

Many from this group have told me flat out they don't wish to be in contact with me, but to be fair, others have come back into my life and have given me great delight.  I am so glad.  I have also been told I may have hurt some who were involved in the group, so I need to accept that things can never again be "the way we were."

Monday, April 20, 2020

My Personal Thoughts and Review of Naomi, The Rabbi's Wife



I have been trying to read more during this Coronavirus shutdown.

Some of the books I recently have read have been non-fiction exit stories about Hasidic Jews.  After reading the last exit story, I knew I needed some fiction since the exit stories were really disturbing me, so I decided to read Naomi, The Rabbi's Wife, a book I bought and put on my Kindle a few months back because it was written by Miriam (Mimi) Finesilver, a person who crossed my path many years ago.

I am so glad I decided to read Mimi's book since it is so good!  Her story takes place in the 1970s and early 1980s which was a time in my life where like Naomi, there was so much going on in my life.  Through Naomi's eyes, I'm taken right into New York City in the 1970s.  It was fun to remember life without cell phones, the internet, and computers!

I don't want to give away too much of the plot in this review, but here's a short summary:

Naomi, who grew up in a town where almost everyone was Jewish in upstate New York, now lives in New York City and is trying to make it as an actress.  She lands a great part in an off-Broadway show and then even a better part in a commercial.   Through her acting career, Naomi meets Gary who she thinks is a great guy, but things go very, very wrong in the relationship shortly after Naomi moves in with him.  Following their break-up, Naomi sinks into a horrible depression.  As she deals with a life that seems to be falling apart, she gets involved and eventually joins Temple Beth Shalom in Manhattan.  There Naomi embraces her Judaism and the depression ends.  The young assistant rabbi, Daniel, and Naomi fall in love and marry.  The young couple moves to Florida where Daniel becomes the Senior Rabbi to a dying congregation, but together he and Naomi bring the congregation back to life.  After two years of marriage the couple and the congregation take a trip to Israel, but just before the trip, Naomi makes a life-changing decision that strains their marriage and Daniel's faith.  The book ends at the Wailing Wall where Daniel and Naomi embrace. The reader is left wondering what will happen next. 

Through this book, I also got to journey into the protagonist's delight in being involved with Temple Beth Shalom in New York.  I too, have experienced so much delight from celebrating the Jewish holidays and through my involvement with Temple Israel in Long Beach and with the other three congregations I am involved with in Idaho and Colorado.

Although my life has been very different than Naomi's, I related so many of the things that happened to Naomi.  Rabbi Dan, who Naomi marries, reminds me in some ways of my husband, Dan.  My Dan is just such a kind and sweet person.  In fact, Naomi's Dan, whom she calls Daniel, calls Naomi "My-Omi."  He cherishes her and adores her just as I know My Dan adores and cherishes me.

Naomi and Dan are married in June of 1979 and Dan and I were married in April of 1979.  If they were real, not fictional characters, it would be so interesting to hear what their 41 years of marriage would have been like.

I have a feeling that they might have never been able to conceive, but I wonder, if like us that they might not have given up and eventually had children somehow.

I thought it was interesting that Naomi not only embraced Judaism, but really read the Torah and felt that some of its words really spoke to her soul.  Orthodox Jews may take what they read in the Torah literally, but I have found that Reform Jews don't react to the words read in the Holy Books, so I found it refreshing to picture the Jews at Temple Beth Shalom really listening to their Rabbi's thoughts.

As I read the book, I enjoyed being transported to NYC in the 1970s. Mimi describes the restaurants and delicious food in New York.  She even talked about Katz's Delicatessen!   She made me wish I could be there.  I cried when I was "at" Naomi and Daniel's wedding! I also experienced much emotion with Naomi as she touched the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.  I felt the same emotion when I touched the Wailing Wall last year during my trip to Israel.

I could tell that some of Mimi Finesilver's personal life experiences were intertwined in this story and it helped me to get to know her a bit more.  We briefly met years ago. She seems like a truly amazingly talented and compassionate person that I would like to know better.


Thank you, Mimi, for giving me some happiness and joy during this time of quaratine!


Saturday, April 11, 2020

The Best Passover Ever! My Kids Are Home! 4/8 and 4/9/2020



Everyone in my family is quarantining at the Schneider Family vacation home in the Colorado mountains which means that all three of my children were together with us for both nights of our Passover seders!



When I woke up the morning after our first seder, I couldn't help but think how fortunate I am.  I would not have had my three children together for Passover if this horrible virus hadn't taken over the world.

In addition, my daughter Annabelle's boyfriend, Ben was with us and his presence added so much to our seder.



On the second night, we were able to log into the Wood River Jewish Community's seder in Idaho!  Rabbi-Cantor Robbi Sherwin led us all in an interactive online seder that was totally wonderful.  Members of the congregation even acted out the story of Passover in a very entertaining manner.

Pre-Made Seder Plate - Annabelle Bought at East Side Kosher Deli In Denver


Isolated in the mountains, it is hard to even grasp how horrible this time is in the outside world.  I am so, so fortunate to have my family close.

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Review of the Netflix Series UnOrthodox



Every time I read exit stories about people leaving their Hassidic worlds and communities, I am haunted.

I read the book UnOrthodox by Deborah Feldman years ago and I was horrified, so I expected the worst when I decided to watch the new Netflix series UnOrthodox.  (Below is the review I wrote of the book eight years ago.)

This plot is fascinating since Etsy wants to be a good wife and have babies, but right after her arranged marriage occurs, she and her husband can't consumate their marriage and produce a baby because Etsy suffers pain. Etsy's husband, Yanky, confides in his mother which makes things worse. What this shows is that it is considered best in Chassidic circles to divorce then to be childless.

Etsy finally does get pregnant, but finds out just before her husband tells her that he wants a divorce.  (She was about to tell him she was pregnant, but didn't get to.) 

After the divorce request, Etsy flees her life in New York and goes to Germany where her mother lives.  It turns out that Etsy was taken from her mother when she was three years old, after her mother left the Satmar community, but was told that her mother deserted her.  How horribly painful that story is too.

In this Netflix series, the story jumps back and forth from Etsy's fleeing from New York to flashbacks on what her life had been like as a Satmar.

From what I observed, Orthodox Judaism and traditions are very beautiful, but when one doesn't fit in the expected mold, there is no place for that person.

The short four episode series ends with Etsy making the decision not to go back.as she begins to make a life for herself in Germany.  If the series continues, I imagine there will be a legal battle from her Chassidic community for custody of her baby.  Etsy will find her place in the secular world, but also continue to enjoy Jewish traditions in the best way she can.

I felt so sorry for Etsy's husband Yanky.  He just wants life to be normal and have his wife and baby back.  I wish both Etsy and Yanky could have begun a new life together rather than Yanky being so confused.  I imagine getting his child would completely take over his being if this plot continues.  It seems like he really loves Etsy too.

This series was is chilling, but also probably authentic.  Of course it made me be so very glad I was not born into a community like Etsy (the main character in the Netflix series) was born into.

I need to re-read Deborah Feldman's book again so I can compare the true story with the fictitious one on Netflix.  As you can see below, in 2012, after I reviewed Feldman's book, I was told it was a work of fiction, but now I'm convinced more than ever that every word was true.



Customer Review

Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2012
I heard about the book Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots from a Jewish women's online discussion group. I thought I might as well read it.

Once it arrived, I couldn't put the book down since it was so upsetting!

For years, I've studied with a program called Partners In Torah. I've admired Orthodox Jews because of that experience.

My Partners In Torah study partner has taken me on a tour of Orthodox Jewish life and I've only heard and learned positive things. What she describes is a loving community, a loving family, and a God that she and those around her seek in such a wonderful way. The rules surrounding Orthodox Judaism don't seem like rules when we talk.

I'm also now studying with a program called TorahMates. I've only talked to my study partner three times so far, but her world, too, is a wonderful place. Yes, there are rules and restrictions, but again, it seems that that those rules and restrictions just make connections to G-d stronger.

I've also admired the Chabad Lubavitch, an ultra-Orthodox Jewish sect whose mission is to educate Jews all over the world about Judaism.

Through Chabad, and also through Partners in Torah and now Torah Mates, I've learned so many things. For example, I wouldn't know about Jewish weddings, marriage contracts, Jewish marriage rituals, Shabbos, Passover, Purim, how to read Hebrew, and lots of other things if it hadn't been for my contact with these groups and for their willingness to share information with me.

It just never occurred to me that some Chasidic Jews felt trapped in that world and wanted out.

Deborah Feldman tells her story "like it is." Deborah Feldman tells the truth. She just wanted "out." She just told her story.

As I read Deborah Feldman's story, I was horrified! I have heard about almost everything she described.

I had always thought of the Mikvah experience as a wonderful experience. Feldman's experiences were awful.

I thought of family in her community as the most wonderful thing in the world. Her family was not a wonderful. It didn't seem like she was ever loved.

Until I read this book, I thought Jewish day schools and Jewish camps were special places; now, I'm not so sure.

One thing I am sure of: I'm so glad I was not born into a Chasidic family! I'm so glad my parents and grand-parents were "your average secular Jews" and not "religious fanatics!" I'm also sure that I would never want to venture into any fanatical religious world or into any place where religious practices, thoughts, or rules could control my life or the lives of those I love.
6 people found this helpful


Jason K.8 years agoIn reply toan earlier post
Ms Markham,

Please STOP the hate and embrace diversity, very sad and disgusting your consumed with so much hate.
Yes, you have a great PURIM too! Thanks so much!

JO ANN
Scott P8 years ago (Edited)In reply toan earlier post
Betty, your comments have to be the most ignorant and childish on this forum. If I had to guess I would say you were really a 14 year old boy posing as an adult. I wonder why you have so much free time to post irreverent and childish posts that in no way add anything positive or enhance the conversation. Don't you have to be in school or something???
Mrs. Johanna Smithson8 years ago (Edited)In reply toan earlier post
Baila I bet you just go to the Mikvah to ogle other women. By the way, why do Ultra Orthodox women do their best to look as unattractive as possible to the general public unlike the rest of us. I am not just talking about the wigs, but the complete lack of makeup and shabby clothes. No wonder their husbands only pay attention to them when they get the urges.
SR8 years agoIn reply toan earlier post
Thanks for correcting me, Sandi. Sorry, I don't watch TV but that's no excuse. I should have checked that out, or not mention it.


SR8 years agoIn reply toan earlier post
One visit to our breathtakingly beautiful, sparkling mikvah, with the friendly, uniformed, professional assistants, should dispel all your fears.
Scott P8 years agoIn reply toan earlier post
Hi Jo Ann,

I think the main thing to consider about Deborah Feldman is that this book is mostly a work of fiction. Her mom didn't leave home when she was young, her parents lived on the first floor of the same building with her grandparents, her mom just got divorced about a year or so ago from her father, she had a sister she never mentioned, she was frequently escorted to the PUBLIC libraries with her neighbor's kids, she attended a "liberal" orthodox school (with a secular curriculum) for many years before she was kicked out for repeatedly talking with the other girls about sexual reproduction and the female anatomy and she only spent 4 years at a Satmar school which was generous enough to take in this trouble child after some major arm twisting from her "evil" aunt Chaya. Oh and the murder she detailed wasn't really a murder it was a suicide, the 13 year old boy was a troubled 20 year old and the police and coroners reports (which she claimed didn't exist) do not mention severed penis. Other than that...

After reading every book review, excerpt, interview, commentary and blog I could find on this topic (including the one Ms Feldman wrote "anonymously" and used as the basis of this book) I decided not to actually read the remainder of her book. I know that is generally frowned upon in this forum, but I really truly did my research on this subject before commenting on it.

Take care--have a joyous PURIM!!
Thank you so much for your comments on my review. I have already talked to my study partner from Partners In Torah about how upset I was about some of the things I read in this book, and she has explained to me that this is obviously not a representation of all Jews. Also, it is obvious Deborah Feldman came from a family that had all sorts of issues going on in the background.

By the way, did you read the book? The experience Deborah Feldman describes at her first time at the Mikvah is especially upsetting. I plan to ask my study partner from Partners In Torah about that when we study in the coming week.

Best,

JO ANN
Scott P8 years agoIn reply toan earlier post
Sandi,

Ms. Feldman exaggerated (invented may be more accurate) many of the "restrictions" on women in the Satmar world. I am not sure if she did it for spite, poetic license, or to spice up her book to increase sales, but the fact is there is no curfew on women, people wear seat-belts, women eat in restaurants, etc. She misstated many laws and traditions and has been called out on this not only by other Orthodox Jews, but by others who have left the community as well.

Many of the stories and claims in the book have been debunked by people who know her, grew up with her and went to school with her. Claims about her education and her family have also been proven to be false by many independent sources. Then there is the rumor that she printed in her book. There is no evidence of a murder taking place or a cover-up. The case was investigated by the State Police, it was ruled a suicide by the coroner, a death certificate was issued and there was no mention of a severed penis. Everything Ms. Feldman claimed was proven to be false (SEE LINKS BELOW FOR DETAILS). And all she managed to do by printing this salacious rumor was cause further harm to an already grieving family. After viewing the evidence everyone should be able to acknowledge this terrible lack of judgment on her part. She owes this family and the community a heartfelt apology for repeating this false claim in a book. Personally I feel a libel suit is warranted against her and her publisher for the harm they caused by purposely printing an unsubstantiated rumor.

Here are independent sources for you to check out.

http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/pageviews/2012/03/the-second-coming-of-james-frey-hasidic-jews-charge-that-one-of-their-own-has-publ

http://www.thejewishweek.com/news/new_york/unorthodox_authors_claim_cover_up_countered

http://blogs.forward.com/sisterhood-blog/151489/

http://failedmessiah.typepad.com/failed_messiahcom/2012/03/more-evidence-deborah-feldman-lied-678.html

Someone who is a product of a stable home and is honest about their background, upbringing and community (Ms. Feldman is none of these) could have written a much better account of this community. I would advise anyone reading this book to view it as fiction and take her claims as they would something written by Dickens or Hemingway.
Sandi8 years agoIn reply toan earlier post
and how do I know what you bring is true??? Because other people have said so??? Big deal...actually prove it to me? Talk is cheap!! Just because they say she lies, doesn't mean she actually does. I need proof. If you were in a court of law, they would ask for substantial proof. Once you can give me substantial proof, (not counting what other people say), then I might just believe you. Until then, it's just hearsay.

If you don't stop harassing me saying "I am consumed with hate", I WILL report YOU to Amazon!!! For YOU or anyone else that reads this...I DO NOT HATE THE SATMARS OR ANY JEWISH PERSON!!! I am Jewish myself, my father in law was a Holocaust survivor. I have NO problem with the Satmars either.....everyone is entitled to their beliefs....they want to live their lives their way, that is fine. I don't choose to live my life that way and neither does Ms. Feldman, and that is FINE too!!!

I read Deborah's book and I liked it.....this is the story of a woman's courageous journey from a very tight knit community and she decided to leave it because it WASN'T for her. No problem with that but yet some people on this site seem to think that it's a problem because this woman doesn't want to be a part of that particular community. Leave the girl alone already. She doesn't want to be a Satmar Jew, OK so no big deal. She has nothing against the Satmars or any of the Jews. She is still Jewish but she just chooses to live her life in a different way!! Live and let live!!! For those of you that just keep saying how she lied, how bad she is, this and that, etc., you are just making it worse for yourselves as it proves to me, that in your "community" everyone has to be like you are. Just remember, everyone is different, unfortunately the Nazi's didn't think that and wanted everyone to be the same....blond hair, blue eyes......the world would be quite boring, if we are all the same. We are all flowers in life's garden and we are all part of ONE race....THE HUMAN RACE!!!

Btw, I do not know Deborah Feldman at all....I only heard of her a few weeks ago when a family member of mine posted a link on FB to the article in the NY Post....so I decided to read her book. Most of it was familiar to me as I am familiar with the ways of the Orthodox Jews as other family members are very Orthodox. It's unfortunate that I have to defend myself on a website which I will not be doing anymore. Mr. Jason K.....if you harass me ONE more time, I WILL REPORT YOU!!!! You are entitled to your opinions, but LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!


Jason K.8 years agoIn reply toan earlier post
"Baila, No one believes you at this point because you are a member of the Satmar"

Your statement only confirms even more that Feldman Lied because Baila is from Satmar and writes perfect English not like Feldman stated that Stamar women have a 4th grade education level, just like Hella Winston who is NOT even an Orthodox Jew, failed Messiah and many former satmars will attest that Feldman did lie in her book.

To Sandi,

So far you or anyone else who trolls on Feldman Facebook has yet to bring proof of what Feldman writes is true, Feldman is coming out to be more and more the new James Frey. it is no wonder a Holocaust denier such as Michael Hoffman would endorse this book. it is very sad your consumed with so much hate.
Scott P8 years ago
Jo Ann,

I really liked your comments. I felt they came from your heart. And were not mean spirited like many of the reviews here.

The one thing I disagreed with is on your assumption that Debrah Feldman was truthful. I am curious as to why you would take her word over your friends in Chabad and Partners in Torah and Torah Mates?

Ms. Feldman exaggerated (invented might be a more accurate term) many of the "restrictions" on women in the Satmar world. I am not sure if she did it for spite, poetic license, or to spice up her book in order to increase sales, but the fact is there is no curfew on women, people wear seat-belts, women eat in restaurants, etc. I am not a woman, so I cannot say firsthand, but I have heard many women enjoy the Mikvah experience. In my Hasidic community women are CEOs, Corporate Attorneys, Anesthesiologists, Doctors, etc. There are no restrictions on reading, English or anything else. They CHOOSE to live a modest lifestyle according to the Torah because they prefer this lifestyle to the secular lifestyle. They are not being held back or being held hostage. No one is forcing them to do anything they don't want to do.

Ms Feldman misstated many laws and traditions and has been called out on this not only by other Orthodox Jews, but by others who have left the community as well. Many of the stories and claims she made in the book (the murder, her "4th grade education, etc.) have been debunked by people who know her, grew up with her and went to school with her and her sister (whom she doesn't mention in the book).

Reading her words in interviews, from the book and her "anonymous" blog (which appears to be the base from which this book is formed), I have surmised that Ms. Feldman is a very gifted writer with an uncanny ability to twist reality to fit perfectly with her thesis. I can also see instances of an immature, self-centered, petulant and somewhat materialistic person peak out through her writings. The way she treated people who tried to help her both in REAL LIFE and in her book is upsetting.

Someone who is a product of a stable home and is honest about their background, upbringing and community (Ms. Feldman is none of these) could have written a much better account of this community.

My advice would be to take the claims made in this book with a grain of salt and continue to learn with your friends and see the reality behind Ms. Feldman's fantasy world.
Sandi8 years ago (Edited)In reply toan earlier post
@Baila.....ahhhh but you are wrong...CNN most certainly did air her interview. It can be found right here.

http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/bestoftv/2012/03/02/exp-point-feldman-unorthodox-two.cnn#/video/bestoftv/2012/03/02/exp-point-feldman-unorthodox-two.cnn

http://startingpoint.blogs.cnn.com/2012/03/02/author-deborah-feldman-explains-why-she-left-the-satmar-sect-of-the-hasidic-jewish-community/

You really should get your facts straight Baila....just saying. Ohhh and I agree with Betty 100% about your campaign to discredit Ms. Feldman....especially since in one of your posts you admit to NOT even reading the book. I always wondered how someone can critique a book when they never even read it.....hmmmm quite interesting!! Amazing...LOL!!
Mrs. Johanna Smithson8 years ago (Edited)In reply toan earlier post
Baila, No one believes you at this point because you are a member of the Satmar group who has waged a major campaign to poison prospective buyers of this book. Your lies about the book are on all the sites which are selling this book. Even Sarah Palin's book did not have this high % of 1 star reviews, proof of your slander campaign. You preach how wonderful your group is but they have proven they are really a closed hateful group. Shame on all you people
SR8 years ago
What makes you think that Deborah Feldman tells her story "like it is"? What makes you think that Deborah Feldman tells the truth? Perhaps her grisly blood libel, since disproved? Or the fact that CNN hasn't aired her interview? Or maybe all the sensible posts here and elsewhere (excluding the stupid 1-star one liners) exposing her lies? Is this disturbed kid from a dysfunctional home more trustworthy in your eyes than all your wonderful mentors of Partners in Torah, TorahMates, and Chabad?
Jason K.8 years ago
I Agree with much of your review, I was also upset that after reading the book I was duped by Feldman, please read the links I posted with an OPEN mind on how Feldman fabricated many of the events, for instance Feldman lived with both her parents till around 11 years old not as written in the book, there is also evidence that will show in the links below that Feldman wrote perfect English as a child which she lied in the book, the evidence shows that Feldman was in a more modern orthodox schools then Satmar and she was kicked out and only after she was kicked out of the modern Scghool did her Aunt take her into Satmar schools with special privileges, which she omits in the book, there is also evidence that Feldman not only openly went to Libraries by herself but also brought with her neighbors children openly apparently she also has a younger sister which she does not talk about:

http://failedmessiah.typepad.com/failed_messiahcom/2012/03/more-evidence-deborah-feldman-lied-678.html


The second coming of James Frey?:

http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/pageviews/2012/03/the-second-coming-of-james-frey-hasidic-jews-charge-that-one-of-their-own-has-publ

And to top it all, check this site out:
http://deborah-feldman-exposed.blogspot.com/

I'm sick to my stomach that we were duped by Feldman.