My December Dilemma

I grew up in the 1960s. When I was little, my parents looked at Christmas and decided that Santa had nothing to do with Jesus, and so my siblings and I very much believed in Santa Claus.

Holiday cards were big then, and I will never forget my dad using his own printing press to print out photos of my brother, sister, and I holding skating trophies with the caption, "Greetings of the Season."

My dad explained that we were Jewish and Jewish people didn't send out cards that said Merry Christmas.

We celebrated both Christmas and Chanukah. I went to religious school and made a big deal about the holiday, so my parents made sure we did it "right."

Celebrating both holidays can be very expensive, so my parents came up with the idea that on most nights of Chanukah we would get little things like candy or comic books, but on the last night we would get one BIG present. Of course, we kids didn't care much about the rituals; we were really just interested in the presents, but did take the time to go through singing of songs and playing games and lighting the candles.

Christmas, for us, had nothing to do with religion or ceremonies: It was purely about GETTING, although as I grew older, I truly wanted to give presents to my family. My dad decided that we would each get three presents to represent that there were three children in our family. Sometimes we got a few extra things from friends or my dad's co-workers. We didn't open anything anyone gave us in advance: everything was opened on Christmas day. I remember my brother or sister saying things like, "I got more presents than you! Ha Ha!"

As we grew older, and stopped believing in Santa, we all still liked to look at the presents under the tree and decorate the tree and have a nice day together. It seemed like my parents' enthusiasm for the holiday dwindled though. They didn't have money to give us all that we really wanted and also, with no more Santa Claus, the holiday wasn't all that fun anymore.

Since we were Jewish, we also didn't make a big deal out of making it public that we even celebrated the holiday at all. To us it was like celebrating Thanksgiving with presents the primary focus rather than turkey.

When Dan and I first met 33 years ago, I was shocked when I first took part in my husband's family's rituals. There seemed to be unlimited presents, decorations, food, family being together, and joy. There wasn't much religion associated with the holiday. I felt that maybe I was now seeing a "Brady Bunch Type Christmas."

Then, when my children were young, we also saw no reason to not give our children a holiday with all that Santa could bring to it.

The problem I face, now that they are older, is that all I associate with this holiday is GREED. It's all about getting for my kids. So is Chanukah. It doesn't really matter to them that there is any religious significance to either holiday, although they think of Chanukah as THEIR holiday. I don't like it one bit that I am under pressure to spend money I really don't have on giving my children things just because everyone else is doing so.

That's "My December Dilemma."