Friend Request - did I actually click "Ignore?"

In an earlier blog post, I said that I thought I may have responded to this "friend request," but I did not want to display or announce this "friend" on my "wall."

For the past couple of days, I've been thinking about this, since, I was told yesterday, that to believe a person can not be ashamed of Him or pretend not to know Him.

I can't "do this." I can tell a few trusted people about what is going on inside me spiritually, but I can't tell my family or those around me. I act like nothing new has happened. In fact, I make it clear to them that I like being Jewish and seeking God as a Jew.

So...it looks like I don't believe after all. It's confusing, since, for a time, I really thought I did believe.

I am back to where I started a year ago when I contacted Lynn Wein McCoy. I am a Jew who very much believes in God. And...if Jesus is the messiah, I want to believe that.

The problem is this: I don't want to be a Christian and/or do the things that Christians are expected to do. I don't want to go to a church. I want to go to and be part of a Jewish temple. I want to be part of the Jewish community in my city. I want to "fellowship" with Jews.

I also still have a hard time believing that Jesus is the only way.

I'm sorry if I led anyone on. "This" is harder than I thought.