I was told that I had to make a major change regarding some of the articles I have published on a certain subect. In fact, I can no longer write any articles about that subject without getting myself into major trouble. I have been told I am not in trouble yet, but if I continue what I am doing, I will be.
To sum things up, I've been disciplined like a bad child might be disciplined and I had to apologize.
As I reflect on what has happened, I realize that what has happened may be a good thing. I no longer have to fight a battle and cause that I can't possibly win. In fact, I have been defeated. I thought my efforts were good, but maybe they were not.
As I am just beginning to believe in God once again, and I believe that God may have used this situation to teach me a lesson. I have been humbled too.
It didn't feel good about being disciplined and defeated at first, but today, when I was talking to someone and just enjoying the conversation, I realized the cause had filled me with hate and had caused idle and perhaps even unnecessary talk or gossip to come out of my mouth. The hate is gone now since this is no longer my battle and I can move forward.
I may even truly be sorry. (I have wondered also if G-d needs me to apologize for denying His existence for that past two months.)
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