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Thursday, October 7, 2021

I am sad again…trying to move forward…


During the past couple weeks, some things have happened that have made me very sad.  I have done a lot of crying off and on.  

One horrible thing that happened was that my hairdresser who I have had for over 30 years died of a massive heart attack on September 18, 2021.  It was an ordinary Saturday and it was 4:00 pm in the afternoon. Her husband went outside to walk the dogs and when he returned to the house, he found her on the floor. He tried to revive her and called 911, but it was too late.  In a matter of minutes, she was gone.  She was only 61 years old.  

Another thing happened that has made me so sad too.  A friend has been asked not to attend a congregation I belong to because he has not been totally honest from the congregation’s point of view.  When it was discussed what he did, I wanted to see it from his side, and spoke to him.  Even when he apologized, it was too late.  The group and the congregation cannot forgive him.  He is forever banned.

It wasn’t what he did or did not do that upset me; I just feel that every person needs to be given a chance.  I saw no love or compassion in the discussions about this individual; there was only anger.  Anything I said to defend him seemed to increase the anger of the group.  Their anger and lack of forgiveness made me cry.  I felt that I had been personally attacked.  

I have discussed this with a some people that understand and I am grateful for their listening ears.  One person didn’t understand at first why I cared, but as I explained how it affected me, she understood a bit.   It seems to be my nature to care about other people and I am just so sad that my friend was not given a chance to defend himself.  He should have at least been given another chance.  It feels he was accused and found guilty without being given a trial.

In addition to the two very upsetting things I have listed above, via text, a family member said some really mean things to me.  That made me so sad but also it made me not want to interact with that family member again.  I know deep down that I can’t walk away from family, but I want to for my own emotional well-being.  

There is no reason for me to be sad since I have a wonderful life and family, but things have just added up it seems.   I just had to write it out.







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