I have been trying to figure out exactly who I am spiritually. I have such a hunger for G-d, but yet, I know, deep down, I can not be and never will be an observant Jew. Maybe if I had been born into that way of life, I would have flourished there, but the fact is, I grew up in a secular Jewish environment, and I have lived most of my life as a secular Jew.
However....from the time I was a little girl, I've had a hunger for G-d. I love seeking G-d and learning all I can about God and about Judaism. I love reading the Torah and the Midrash. I love the stories about Moses, Joseph, and the patriarchs. Seeking God from a Jewish perspective has been what I've been doing for years and years.
I know that I don't want to take part in that "other religion," but yet, I admire those who choose to follow G-d in that way; it works for "them." Although I have memories from "that world" and once was part of that world, I know I don't belong "there." It's just not for me. In fact, there's only a few people in that world that I feel comfortable staying connected to.
So who am I? What have I been seeking? What is my search for God really about? What do I believe?
Today, I heard the term "Spiritual Jew." That describes me.
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