Do Former Cult Members Try to Hold Onto Friendships They Made "There"?

Every time I see movies about religious cults, I relate.  You see, although JFJ was not supposed to be a cult because its doctrine was not "off," it functioned like one.  At least it functioned like a cult in the days I was there.

When I was part of that organization, I learned to obey and follow and found myself dependent on the leaders.  I was "encouraged" to only associate with JFJ family and as time passed, I needed the people in the group. We even wore bright t-shirts that said who we were and we spent time on the streets passing out brochures pretending to not be ashamed.  I was miserable doing that because I did not believe in the "cause," but I also didn't want to lose the people that I thought had become my "family."

It did take sometime to learn to function again on my own after I left JFJ.

That was a long, long time ago.

As time passed, I forgot, but in recent years, I remember some of the people I knew who were part of that organization.  And... because of social media and the internet, I am connected to some of the people that I once knew from those intense days.

Some of those people I know are really my friends and I've so grateful that we are connected.

A certain person from "those days" and I  reconnected seven years ago.  As time has passed, she and I built up a friendship and I confided in her.  She has become a very close friend and I continue to want to hold on to her friendship.  But....last week, she asked me "Why."

"Jo Ann, why are you associating with me and others if you don't want to believe as I do?  It is deceptive."

Her statement got me thinking.  Am I being deceptive?

I don't mean to be.

It is just that I love people and want to give myself to those who I care about.

If I was a young person trying to exit a dangerous cult, I'd probably have cut myself off from all the people that are part of JFJ or associated with it, but I just don't want to.  Also, the organization may have changed and may not be as cult like as I remember.

Is is common for former cult members to try to hold onto friendships they made "there" or is it just me?