This is the continuing story of a Jewish woman's spiritual journey and search. Jo Ann Schneider Farris has searched and searched for God in many different ways. In this blog, she tells her past, present, and future stories and shares her thoughts.
Friday, July 5, 2019
Was the Story In Not Without My Daughter Totally True?
I think most people remember the 1991 movie "Not Without My Daughter" starring Sally Field. It showed the story of how Betty Mahmoody and her little daughter Mahtob who were held against their will in Iran for 18 months after what was supposed to be a two week vacation to visit her native born Iranian husband Moody's family. Dr. Mahmoody had lived in America for 20 years, and it seemed that a visit was okay, but instead, Moody (the nickname Betty called him) changed once back in his home country, and Betty experienced a nightmare and had to escape Iran. She would not leave without her daughter Mahtob.
After recently watching that movie again, I decided I had to read the books associated with the story. I did not only read the books, but I watched numerous videos.
Not only did Betty Mahmoody write a book, but the daughter, little Mahtob, who is now grown up (I believe she is now 40 years old) has published her story too.
And...Betty's ex-husband, Sayyed Bozorg Mahmoody, wrote a book too that tells his side of the story. The book dragged a bit and was poorly written. It is clear that he wished to prove somehow that he was innocent and he wanted to "get back" at his ex-wife for sharing the story.
Dr. Mahmoody, who was always called Moody by Betty, passed away in 2009, but before he died, a documentary was made that also told his story. He denied Betty's claim that she and Mahtob were forced to stay in Iran and that they were tricked into going there. (Apparently, after the book and movie came out, Iranians were angry at him for causing their country and culture to look so primitive and barbaric and his life was miserable.) He claimed that almost all that Betty said was true was really false.
I read "My Name Is Mahtob" first before I read "Not Without My Daughter." I also watched the documentary that showed Dr. Mahmoody's point of view and watched YouTube interviews with both Mahtob and Betty.
After reading and watching everything, I have come to the conclusion that most likely Betty's story is true, but could have been dramatized just a bit. The Iranian culture is so different than our American culture, that Moody may have not known how much of a "monster" he was to his wife and daughter.
Mahtob has shadowy memories in her head of what happened, so it is hard to know for sure that what she described could be just a child's memories or what her mother told her. Most of her book is about her life since she returned to the US which can be disappointing to a reader who wants answers, but how could a child who was only four to six years old, put together an entire book that shared what happened in detail?
In his book and also the documentary, Dr. Mahmoody told Betty's story from his point of view and his point of view only. Betty vividly describes her husband beating her, but then he instead says she hit him!
Moody explained why things are done in Iran and says that Betty just didn't understand how things were done. He makes her look stubborn, ignorant, and angry. He also stated that Betty was really from a poor American and uneducated family and almost hinted she was "white trailer trash" and that he rescued her from poverty. He said he gave her a comfortable life, and that while they were living in the USA, that she took off more than once with all their savings and left him, but then returned.
Sayyed Bozorg Mahmoody was a short, balding, and somewhat overweight man; he was not the tall and handsome and strong man that was the actor in the "Not Without My Daughter" movie, so it is a bit hard to picture this weak looking man with glasses as the evil and strong monster that Betty described. Dr. Mahmoody used his true appearance to show that perhaps Betty's story, book, and movie was exaggerated and untrue. Mahtob, however, remembers and says her father did become a monster and remembers her father hitting her and Betty.
Mahtob remembers going to school in Iran and shares bleak memories of those school days. She tells about how the children could only color with dark crayons and were taught to chant "Death to America!" I'm so glad she was able to get out of Iran and grew up in the good old USA! Her father said Mahtob loved school and was in the top of her class in Iran, but Mahtob describes school in Iran as being torture for her.
Dr. Mahmoody wanted more than anything to reconcile with Mahtob, but that never happened. As she grew up, Mahtob was terribly afraid of him and would have nothing to do with him. She even went to school under a false name and Betty and Mahtob tried to hide the best they could. When the internet made it possible for her father to find her, Mahtob refused any contact. Betty and Mahtob lived their lives, even after they were safely back in the USA with the fear that Mahtob could possibly be taken away by Moody.
No matter what, this is a terribly sad and uncomfortable story and I would think after knowing about it that most American women would be smart enough to know that getting involved with a man from a culture where women's rights are so different is not a good idea.
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