Reconciliation

Part of this week's Parsha Vayishlach is about the reunion between Jacob and Esau.

One can only picture what it must have been like for the two twin brothers to embrace one another after so many years.

Time does heal differences and that is what Jacob was hoping for.

When I first read that passage years ago, I was leading a cause. The cause was about people that had been hurt by a religious organization I once worked for.

I truly believed God had called me to lead that cause. The personal pain each person felt after leaving that organization became my personal pain. I cried as I heard their stories and felt like I had been through each of the horrors they described.

My dream was reconciliation for everyone involved. I dreamed of a day when those who had been hurt would reunite with the people they believed had hurt them and that everyone would hug.

I wanted so much for what happened to Jacob and Esau to happen to the people involved! That story had a huge impact on what motivated my reason for leading that cause. Reconciliation was my goal for the group. I truly believed that would happen and I also truly believed that God had called me to lead the group towards that goal.

Something sort of like Jacob's and Esau's reconciliation happened to me, when the leader of that religious organization called me. I felt that his contact was making that move, but then was told by others that is was all a trick. I was confused, but as time has passed, I do believe that I personally have made some sort of peace with that group and also with certain individuals in that group.

Jacob and Esau went their separate ways. They did not come back together or live as a family really.

I realize now, I can never be part of the organization that I believed hurt me and others again, but if I saw someone in that group again, I could possibly hug them. We don't have to dwell together, but we can at least make peace.

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Note: Yesterday, I finally realized that those who are a part of the group that my cause was about hurting or exposing will never completely accept me back into their lives, but also, I realized I don't really want to be a part of that group again. I thought something was wrong because of this, but the way things are now is really the right place to be.

One other note: The information on the website I am now linking to was NOT created by me. In fact, I have no idea who maintains that website now, but it does look a lot like what was once online and what I had been a part of. The name of the website is slightly changed. I actually haven't decided one way or the other if I like seeing what I once was a part of still online. Even if I wanted the things I wrote off, I have no idea who maintains that website, so I can't ask such a question, so for now, what is online remains and there must be a reason for the information to remain available ...