I saw this quote yesterday:
It is better to have an ENEMY who honestly says they hate you than to have a FRIEND who's putting you down SECRETLY."
This thought made me think. I hope that I don't have any friends that put me down secretly. It hurts to even think about that.
What really bothers me is that I have a dear friend that I love so much, but she "drives me crazy" sometimes. The thing is, I tell another friend, who also loves her, that my friend "drives me crazy." Does that mean I'm putting her down?
Here's another thought: During the summer, I found out that one of my son's friends was making fun of me behind my back because of the things I post on Facebook. I was so, so hurt. I was given this information from the friend that "drives me crazy." She passed on information to me that hurt. Did I need to hear about someone wanting to make fun of me?
Changing my thoughts slightly:
Today, I remembered something that happened over 20 years ago. I was approached by a rabbi after I spoke about Passover in at church for JFJ. He said, "These people are not your friends; come back to Judaism."
His words are ones I will never forget. That's what I wanted to do. I wanted to be "just plain Jewish."
All these years, yes, I've tried so very hard to do just that: to be Jewish , but...I've hung on to all the people I knew from "before." Facebook made it worse. People that I forgot existed, who I once knew from my religious past, have become connected to me through the internet and Facebook.
I wondered when I first joined Facebook, if I should have opened myself up to people I knew from "then," but I decided to accept anyone who "friended me."
"Seeing" them again and hearing what they had to say, for awhile, made me think that maybe I was wrong to want to seek G-d as a Jew. I wanted to keep the "door" slightly open.
The only thing is, my desire to be Jewish means to some people that I'm not tolerant of those who seek God in a different way than I do. Some may even think that I am putting them down behind their backs. That is far from true.
I love and respect so many of the people that have loved me and been a part of my life. We may not agree on the what is the way to God, but I am so thankful for you. Although I may be keeping my distance lately, please know that I'm glad you are still there.